Congruence is when your actions are consistent with your inner state and your core values. It involves developing authenticity and emotional honesty.
You may have recognized incongruence in a person who smiles with their mouth but not with their eyes or in a boss who says,
“I feel your pain” while quickly slashing your budget.
When someone says they value authenticity, they’re also saying they want Congruence, outer choices that match internal realities.
Being a Congruent leader includes focusing on the inner work of self-awareness as well as improving skills
like supervising, vision casting, public speaking, hiring and other leadership responsibilities.
Congruent Leaders build strong teams by knowing their people and knowing how to help each member of their team thrive.
You may have recognized incongruence in a person who smiles with their mouth but not with their eyes or in a boss who says,
“I feel your pain” while quickly slashing your budget.
When someone says they value authenticity, they’re also saying they want Congruence, outer choices that match internal realities.
Being a Congruent leader includes focusing on the inner work of self-awareness as well as improving skills
like supervising, vision casting, public speaking, hiring and other leadership responsibilities.
Congruent Leaders build strong teams by knowing their people and knowing how to help each member of their team thrive.
4 Intuitive Skills of Congruent Leaders
We came to this idea of Congruence by working with horses. Horses are extremely intuitive animals, and we found that the 4 Intuitive Skills they need to understand Congruence are the same skills people need with each other. We offer Coaching and Workshops, with or without horses, using these principles of Congruence.
Connection
When you’re thinking and working in sync with the horse, you can accomplish your objectives together because he is completely tuned in and responsive to your energy and communication. You’ve seen this kind of Connection between a quarterback and receiver or in a surgical team or construction crew where people just seem to know what to do next and how to respond to each other.
Intention
Setting Intention is when you are absolutely clear about where you’re taking the horse and how you’ll get there. It involves both having a logical plan and an inner certainty as you execute it. When leaders move along with clarity and confidence, people know what’s expected of them and are empowered to take responsibility for their role in accomplishing the task.
Energy
The way your presence affects how the horse responds to you. It might seem like emotion when you first become aware of it, but it’s really a sensation that’s deeper than emotion. Recognizing and managing your own Energy will help you in conversations where people typically report increased anxiety – like attending networking events, confronting unmet expectations with a colleague, or delivering performance reviews.
Pressure
Directing your Energy to different areas of the horse to get him to accomplish the goal you’re after. It involves learning how to manage and focus your Energy so the horse can understand what you’re asking him to do. When you’re learning to use appropriate Pressure, it’s just as important to learn when to release it as when to apply it. You use communication to apply and release Pressure with people. Verbally you select particular words for people to both understand and feel what you’re asking of them. Nonverbally, you use all sorts of cues - you may stand at a particular distance, choose whether to touch someone’s shoulder, or decide whether to sustain eye contact.
Connection
When you’re thinking and working in sync with the horse, you can accomplish your objectives together because he is completely tuned in and responsive to your energy and communication. You’ve seen this kind of Connection between a quarterback and receiver or in a surgical team or construction crew where people just seem to know what to do next and how to respond to each other.
Intention
Setting Intention is when you are absolutely clear about where you’re taking the horse and how you’ll get there. It involves both having a logical plan and an inner certainty as you execute it. When leaders move along with clarity and confidence, people know what’s expected of them and are empowered to take responsibility for their role in accomplishing the task.
Energy
The way your presence affects how the horse responds to you. It might seem like emotion when you first become aware of it, but it’s really a sensation that’s deeper than emotion. Recognizing and managing your own Energy will help you in conversations where people typically report increased anxiety – like attending networking events, confronting unmet expectations with a colleague, or delivering performance reviews.
Pressure
Directing your Energy to different areas of the horse to get him to accomplish the goal you’re after. It involves learning how to manage and focus your Energy so the horse can understand what you’re asking him to do. When you’re learning to use appropriate Pressure, it’s just as important to learn when to release it as when to apply it. You use communication to apply and release Pressure with people. Verbally you select particular words for people to both understand and feel what you’re asking of them. Nonverbally, you use all sorts of cues - you may stand at a particular distance, choose whether to touch someone’s shoulder, or decide whether to sustain eye contact.
The Wheel of Congruence
Would you like to check in on your Congruence? We designed the Wheel of Congruence as an assessment to help us and our clients see how things are going. It can provide some clues about which of the 4 Intuitive Skills could use some attention.