All teams go through times when anxiety is high. Maybe there are extra pressures in the business, or concern about someone’s health, or a pending deadline.

When teams share office space, it’s easy to stop by and see how someone’s doing or run into them at the water cooler or maybe share lunch. But those natural relationship-building conversation spaces aren’t available when you lead a virtual team. Here are some things you can do to help.
 
Manage your emotions first.
The leaders first responsibility is to set their team up for success. That means creating space for them to own and work out their emotions during anxious times. You must lead the way by naming your own emotion and freeing them to name and work through theirs.

In order to do this well, you will have to process your emotions privately and with other trusted sources. It is not your team’s job to help you manage this trying time. Talk with a coach, close friends, other leaders at your same level in the organization. Practice skills you’ve developed to mature your own emotional intelligence.
  
Tell them what you know and set clear intention.
During anxious times, it’s natural to ask, “What if’s.” When people have information, even the simplest information, it can help limit their fears. So tell them the facts you have on hand and what you’re doing about it.

It might sound like “Here’s how long we can expect this high anxiety time to last, and here’s what we’re going to do next.”  Never lie. If you don’t know, say “I don’t know. I will tell you as soon as I do.”
 
Connect these trying times to your values.
Those values you wrote out at a corporate retreat a few years ago should be the driving force and your moral center in all of a company’s decisions. That’s even more true when anxiety is high.

When we’re under stress, it helps to remember why we’re doing something. Living out of a higher purpose gives meaning to both life and work. As you give assignments, be sure to link the task to your company’s value system. For example,  “We’re prioritizing this project because it takes care of the customer first and one of our main values is ‘every customer has implicit value and should be treated that way."

Start problem solving processes by naming what’s going well.
When anxiety is high, we’re usually trying to fix something. We’re trying to solve a problem - or maybe multiple problems. Start this process by having your team name what’s working. That affects the momentum of the conversation and probably educates members of the team about strong elements in other departments. It also sets you up to problem solve from a strength’s perspective. When you’re clear about what’s working, you have better information to pull from to fix what isn’t working.
 
Have a daily touch base phone call.
Get on the phone with your people and check in. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation. Let it take the time it takes.

Here are some conversations starters.
 “How are you really?”
“What’s on your mind?” 
“Thank you for ______,”
“Your contribution to this project was helpful because ______.”
 
Take pressure off where you can.
Re-evaluate job responsibilities where possible. The best way to do that is to prioritize by the project, not by the clock.

With fewer distractions, working from home can be more efficient. Or depending on the person and the home they’re working from, there may be many more distractions during times of stress. Talk with your team members about what really needs to be done. Help them prioritize what’s most important and focus on those tasks.
 
Use what you know from other team building work you’ve done.
Most leaders have offered training in Myers Briggs Personality Type or the DISC assessment or StrengthsFinder or some other self-awareness tool.

​Use what you know of your team to help them. What does their profile mean for working alone or for understanding how they respond to stress or for motivation and feeling validated? Put those tools to work as you coach each person in the way they need.
 
Celebrate when it’s over.
When this high anxiety time is through, throw a party. Congratulate them on getting through. Thank them for their contribution. Do all of this with lavish sincerity and with everyone in the same room. Such an important thing needs to be done in real time and real space.

​Read more articles about leadership, self-awareness, and team building.

Like so many of you working from home, I spent a lot of time on Zoom this week.

The good news about video conference meetings is you use the same skills you would in a face-to-face meeting. Just make a few adjustments to deal with technology.
 
Get yourself comfortable on video.
Video is a new medium for many leaders and they are understandably self-conscious about it. Think about the first time you heard your own voice recorded. It just feels strange. It can be hard to host a video conference if you’re distracted by checking yourself out on the screen instead of focusing on your team.

I had one leader tell me she practiced getting used to video by using the Marco Polo app. It’s like a walkie talkie of video. You send a video to a person or group and they reply with a video of their own. When I mentioned I was self-conscious about how the app stores all the videos, this leader said, “Do you go back and delete all your texts?” Video is everywhere now. It’s good practice for me to think about it as one more medium for communication. Other people aren’t taking me as seriously on video as I am.

Plus most software offers an option for you to hide yourself from your screen so others can see you but you’re not looking at yourself on display. That way you can focus on your team instead of trying not to check on your own image the whole time.
 
Look at the camera – not at the screen.
When at all possible, look at the camera. It’s the closest semblance you can get to eye contact.
 
Learn the software together.
There is a wide range of skill and experience when it comes to using video conference software. For some of your people, it’s old hat. For others, the learning curve is steep and intimidating.

Take some time in your next meeting to walk through the how-to’s. Say things like “To mute yourself so we can’t hear your papers shuffle, click the icon in the lower left corner.” Your old hat participants will enjoy showing what they know and your less experienced people will be grateful for the information. I was in a conference last week where an experienced Zoom user sent the group into a fit of giggles and immediate clicking when they pointed out the “touch up my appearance” feature.
 
Accept Slowness
Video conference is a medium where truly only one person can talk at a time. Use this to your advantage by slowing down. Help the less-likely-to-contribute know when it’s a good time for them to talk. Your over talkers may need some guidance about leaving space/pause for others to find their place in the conversation.

And don’t be afraid of silence. (This is also good advice for face-to-face meetings.) Your group will probably need permission for that since it’s our cultural expectation to always have input, especially when a screen is involved. Permission giving might sound like “Let’s take a minute to think about that before anybody says anything.”
 
Have a clear purpose for the meeting.
We’ve all been in meetings where something could have been handled in one email. Create your agenda by focusing on things that involve the whole team. Sometimes the  team can help one or two members solve a problem they’re working on. Sometimes those one or two people can just work on the problem themselves and report the solution to the group. It’s the leader’s job to set them up for success whatever that looks like.

Building connection between team members should be a purpose in every meeting. Sometimes you do that with an overt team building activity. Sometimes it’s accomplished by the group collectively working on a project. It’s the leader’s job to know what your team needs to build that connection.

And send out an agenda ahead of time. Your team will benefit from knowing what to focus on.
 
Start with checking in on how people are doing.
We often start meetings (face-to-face meetings and virtual meetings) with one of these conversations.

• High/Low – Everyone takes a minute to name their High (the best thing that’s happened since you last met) and their Low (the worst thing that’s happened since you last met).
• Permission Slip – Write down on a piece of paper (yes – use pen and paper even if you’re in a virtual meeting) something you need to give yourself permission for in order to be full present in the meeting.

If you don’t have experience facilitating this kind of discussion, if this isn’t how you’ve engaged with your team before, relax your expectations and go first. Let each person tell theirs and listen well. Thank them for what they had to say, and if you heard something that needs to be followed up on, call that person directly after the team meeting and check in.
 
Wrap up with clear next steps.
Give a sum up of what decisions were made in the meeting and which tasks were assigned to which person.

​Read more articles about leadership, self-awareness, and team building.
 
 

Charlotte is a high profile leader who loves helping people. It is both the quality in her character that makes her a great leader and a quality that exhausts her. For example, there’s one person who is always trying to schedule meetings and spend time with her. Charlotte wants to help, but literally doesn’t have the time to give. She oversees a large organization and isn’t able to spend time with every person who wants her attention.

What to do?

In this situation, as in most situations in leadership, the next question to ask is “What does this person really need?” That’s your first and most important responsibility.

If this person needs time with Charlotte, then Charlotte should make the time. But what if the person really needs professional coaching? Now Charlotte can set her up for success by recommending coaches. What if the person needs more social/professional interactions? Charlotte can set her up for success by pointing this person to any number of groups who can address that need.

Here’s another example. William finds himself frustrated every time he participates in a meeting that is led by one of his direct reports. There is no agenda for these meetings, they take a wandering tone and things may or may not actually get accomplished. William walks out of the meeting frustrated at his direct report thinking, “By this point in his career, that guy should know how to lead a meeting.”

Why? Why should that guy know how to lead a meeting if no one ever taught him? William's job is to set that guy up for success, and that means helping him learn how to lead a meeting.
 
This practice of setting your team up for success requires sharp observation skills and real knowledge of the people you lead.

To put it bluntly – you’ve got to know them and you’ve got to help them. That’s your job.

Here’s an exercise to help you hone these skills. Write down the names of the people you lead, and ask yourself, “What do they need?” and “How can I help address that need?” Below is an example of what this might look like. Considering the times, we used coronavirus-centric examples.

​

Brandon
What Does He Need?
​Brandon's wife is a nurse. He’s concerned about her health and wants to figure out ways to support her.

​How Can I Help?
Check in with Brandon to see how he’s doing. Tell him how much you appreciate his wife’s role during these times.  Ask, “What do you need?”


Cheryl
What Does She Need?
Is working from home with her 3 kids who are also home from school. She’s worried about how to get everything done.
​
​How Can I Help?
Help Cheryl prioritize her work tasks to know which ones really need immediate attention and which ones can be deferred until later. Assure her that you don’t expect her to do it all right now.


Larry
What Does He Need?
Is working remotely for the first time in his life and is embarrassed that he doesn’t know how to operate the software for video conferencing.
​
​How Can I Help?
Thank Larry for his years of work and for his willingness to do a new thing. Set up a video conference with him and walk through your company’s software.


Trisha
What Does She Need?
Has job responsibilities that have to be tabled during this time. She has extra time on her hands and real potential for advancement in your company.

​How Can I Help?
​​Set Trisha up with professional development resources – books to read, videos to watch, etc. Check in with her about what she’s learning.

Read more articles about leadership, self-awareness, and team building.